We’ve all seen them. They’re pesky and they’re more than likely every lawn company and gardener’s worst nightmare. I’ll bet if you take a drive around your neighborhood you can spot them. Impossible to get rid of and never welcomed. Can you guess what I’m talking about? That’s right, WEEDS!
Back when I lived with my parents and was just a munchkin, my mom and I had a little garden in our backyard. We nurtured it, we watered it, fertilized it, but eventually gave up. Why you ask? The weeds were starting to be too much. I swore there were twice as many as the day before. They grew faster everyday and slowly but surely gardening was becoming a tedious task rather than a rewarding chore.
Please note, this isn’t a blog post about weeds or gardening, rather I introduced the pesky weed situation to present you with an analogy and I’ll be including this analogy throughout this post.
Lately I’ve been tired. Very tired. It’s a different kind of tired though because it’s not the normal, “I only slept three hours last night, I’m so tired” phase. No, it’s a lot more complicated and much more somber than that. There has been more family drama in my life than I care to even think about and while I won’t go into details, I will give you the outlook of the main idea with an inside peek.
I wanted to bring this subject up because I now fully understand the effect of playing into people’s nonsense. I know what it does to the body, how it destroys you from the inside out. I know what to look for, how to avoid it and more importantly, what to do to guard your heart and mind so you can sleep peacefully at night without guilt, worry, or fear. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings on the awful effect so that you, yourself can hopefully take some good out of what I’ve learned and in turn be able to avoid the pitfalls I once fell into.
If you can’t tell, I’m all about learning from other people’s mistakes. Even though I only have one younger brother, I’ve always wanted an older sibling. Mostly because I wanted to learn from their mistakes. Haha! It’s not like I’m encouraging people to make mistakes so I can learn. No, I’m rather observing people, their words, their actions and applying the good I learn whilst avoiding the mistakes people make. So learn from my mistakes, absorb my words and apply it to your life. Go ahead, I’m encouraging you!
Understanding the Dramatic Personality
I’ve had so many problems with dramatic people it’s not even funny. It got so bad that I started questioning myself and I seriously wondered if I was the problem. Talking to trustworthy friends and family reassured me that I wasn’t the one creating the drama. Alas, it took a long time before I believed them and I still question myself. Sometimes I get so lost in thought, that my husband has to snap me out of it.
People can be cruel. I’ve been put down, I’ve seen people play victim after being the one causing the drama and I’ve been blamed for everything under the sun. Let’s just say, it’s not a good feeling. I’m finding out the hard way that there are indeed people out there who not only enjoy drama, but subconsciously crave that sense of distraught between people. I’ve seen it within my own family, my friend’s family and friend’s as well.
It’s not a healthy way to live and I can’t seem to understand why people create a whole bunch of nonsense for no reason. Why do we have to have conflict? Naturally fights are going to happen, people get annoyed or irritated with others thus causing arguments. However, it’s not the arguments or not being able to agree on something that bothers me.
It’s the fact that people can literally take nothing and turn it into something. Some people bring up things of the past, others spit venom just to make you hurt. Many times I find that people don’t think before they speak and they unfortunately find themselves in a pickle near the end of conflict.
I’m not saying I’m always right or that I’m perfect. I’m definitely not, but I also try really hard not to create or cause drama because I have personally felt what it’s like to have a “snake” spit venom on me. I’ve never been so hurt in my entire life. I’ve had boyfriends break up with me because they just decided they don’t love me anymore and I’ve moved passed that. However, when a person hurts you so deeply with their tongue to the point of physically getting sick, I knew I was never going to fully get past it.
Eventually I forgave for myself and myself alone as there has yet to be any sort of verbal apology. Even then, how do you go back to loving someone again when they made you feel worthless? You can’t. It’s considered emotional abuse, right? It’s one thing to create drama, it’s another to say things to others that you know will break them from the inside out.
What I’ve Learned From the People Who’ve Hurt Me
I wrote this post months ago, yet I could never find the right time to upload it on my blog. Perhaps it’s because I needed time to heal and by writing this, it was like pouring salt in the wound, but surprisingly I have finally moved past it enough to be able to finish this post.
First thing’s first, never ever hold a grudge. Once the dreams and/or nightmares stop or at least come less frequently, you’ll be able to move past it. Yet once you personally and silently forgive the person, you’ll be able to let it go more and more. The thoughts will fade until it will become a distant memory.
I’m not saying that seeing the person or thinking of the situation won’t bring up any harbored hurt or anger, but I can assure you, it will get easier as time moves on. Now that months have gone by, I actually think about wanting to reconcile the relationships that I have lost even though it was not my choice to walk away from them in the first place. I have tried to be the bigger person and apologize to people if I hurt them in any way and for my anger.
It takes a lot to reach out to the person who has left a slash in your heart and if you choose to be the bigger person, I applaud you. It takes quite a bit amount of humbleness and it shows a sense of maturity on a whole new level.
So to sum everything up, I encourage you to do three things: Pray for the person who hurt you, forgive the person whether or not they apologized and never have too much pride to be the bigger person. Applying those three things will make it seem a little better. If you end up making up with the person, great! Just one thing, guard your heart. Because a person who’s like this can and most likely will turn on you again. So just watch what you say and learn that people like this should always be on a need to know basis.
Above all, don’t buy into the drama seed. Don’t plant it, don’t water it, just simply walk away from it. Let the people who plant the drama seeds harbor in their own weeds. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
xo
Ashlyn
